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I once favored the idea of love that says I can only ever love one person. This was around the time of my first serious relationship with a woman, and I truly believed I was the only person she could ever love in a romantic sense, and that she was the same for me. That relationship was the most exhausting one I have ever been in . . it ended when we both discovered we had been cheating on each other. Not sleeping with other people, but we were both seeing different people on the side. The thrill to our relationship is gone. Expectations came in.

I blame our expectations for one another. Because I was the only person she could love, and she was the only person I could love, we both expected things to run smoothly, and we expected that our love for each other would always be strong, would always be the shining light amidst a world of turmoil and despair.

We expected each other to be perfect, and got frustrated when we both found imperfections. I don’t know how special I thought I was at the time, but there are nearly six billion people in the world, and I’m pretty sure neither of us were unique enough to be one in six billion. That means there are a large number of possible romantic matches for anyone, man or woman, but people can still be devoted to one another.

Devotion is still very much possible. A man can still be devoted to one woman if he respects the promises he makes. Part of the problem in my earlier relationships is that boundaries were never made clear. Setting clear boundaries is important because what constitutes cheating can be a little fuzzy.

Some people think flirting is cheating, some don’t. Some people think that talking dirty to someone online is cheating, others don’t. When a couple actually talks about specific things that they shouldn’t do, and both partners agree not to do them, they’re not only setting clear boundaries, but they are also making clear promises to one another.

Love is a feeling that can wax and wane depending on a person’s mood and over time, but a promise is something concrete . . it provides something to fall back on when things go sour. I think couples should talk about what loyalty means to them, and come to a consensus on what boundaries to set for each other.

Married couples can talk about what their marriage vows mean . . maybe it will add strength to the promise that marriage represents, and make that promise all the stronger in each person’s mind.

But then again, we live once, die once, love once and marry once. That was the ideal, or so i think of. Even now, i still strongly believe in that.

My parents taught me well. From young, they instilled a positive nature in my blood and veins and mum kept telling me ” The road is still long . . Don’t ever give up. When you give up, you might as well stop living. If others can do it, so can you”

And my dad would always tell me ” There’s nothing i cant do in this world . . except giving birth ” . . And he was fuckin right. The man can do anything. He was talented as he was responsible. He was the greatest man i have ever known. I would be proud if i could be half the man he is. If i ever could be . . hopefully

Btw those were the exact words. I’ll rememember em’ till my last breath. With words like that, its no wonder my outlook towards life is positive.

A lot of people will always try to bring me down . . But fuck em’. They dont live my life. I live mine . . Only i know myself too well.

Therefore I am devoted to loving my family and most importantly, myself.

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